But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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