If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize