did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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