You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
