We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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