Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
only if we run a train.
done.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
