Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
