I just pynch a tree in the face
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
