What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
