i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
