So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Farmville is her only friend.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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