He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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