i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
