maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
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