4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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