it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
