so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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