So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Randomize
