scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
