Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize