Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
