I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
