His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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