In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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