does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
