Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
