There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
