do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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