he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
