Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
