Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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