I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
