i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
