wakey wakey hands off snakey
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
