Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
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