I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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