Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
