I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Randomize
