Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
