We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
