Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
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