so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Randomize
