That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
