We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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