I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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