So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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