Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
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