im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
