just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Randomize
