haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Randomize
